Breaking the Silence: How Talking About Suicide Can Save Lives

Suicide Prevention: Why Talking About Suicide Matters 

Talking about suicide can feel uncomfortable, but compassionate conversations can reduce isolation, open the door to support, and remind people that they don’t have to face suicidal thoughts alone.

By Aviva Boxer, Registered Psychotherapist 

When I worked as a newspaper editor, one of the rules I encountered was that suicide was something we had to be extremely careful about reporting on. The thinking at the time was that talking about suicide could encourage other people to think about it or act on those thoughts. 

I understood the concern, but if I’m honest, it never quite made sense to me. Even then, I wondered how we could possibly help people with something as serious as suicide if we couldn’t talk about it. 

Years later, after leaving journalism and moving into my work as a therapist, my understanding of suicide and suicide prevention has changed. Our knowledge has evolved, and so has the broader conversation around mental health. 

We now know that asking someone directly about suicide does not increase their risk. In fact, compassionate and direct conversations can open the door to support and connection. The Government of Canada’s suicide prevention guidance encourages people to ask directly about suicide and explains how these conversations can help. 

And I think there is something important in that shift. 

We should not sensationalize suicide or talk about it carelessly. But we should also not be afraid of talking about it. 

Sometimes, bringing something difficult into the light is the beginning of being able to do something about it. 

Suicide is a significant public health issue 

Suicide can feel like a difficult or distant subject to talk about. But it is a significant public health issue in Canada and around the world. 

According to the World Health Organization, more than 720,000 people die by suicide globally each year. Suicide was the third leading cause of death among people aged 15 to 29 globally in 2021, and 73 per cent of suicide deaths occurred in low- and middle-income countries. 

In Canada, thousands of people die by suicide each year. According to the Public Health Agency of Canada’s suicide mortality data, there were 4,394 suicide deaths in 2024. This figure is based on early data and is expected to change as additional information becomes available. 

These statistics are important because they help us understand the scale of the issue. But behind every statistic is a person — and people who care about them. 

Suicide prevention isn’t simply about numbers. It is about finding more opportunities to help people feel seen, supported and able to ask for help. 

The people left behind after suicide 

When someone dies by suicide, the impact extends far beyond the person who has died. Family members, partners, friends, colleagues and others in the community are left to navigate a profound and often complicated loss. 

Alongside the sadness and shock that can accompany any death, people bereaved by suicide may experience guilt, anger, confusion, rejection or an overwhelming need to understand why it happened. They may find themselves replaying conversations, wondering whether they missed something or asking themselves whether they could have done more. There may be questions that never have clear answers. Some people also struggle with stigma or find it difficult to talk openly about the circumstances of the death, which can leave them feeling even more alone. 

Research has identified particular challenges that some people experience after a suicide loss, including self-blame, shame, unanswered questions and a sense of isolation. A systematic review of research on suicide bereavement explores some of these experiences. 

There is no right way to grieve, and there is no timetable for healing. People need space to experience their feelings without judgement or pressure to move on. Compassionate support, connection with others who understand this kind of loss, and professional help when needed can all be part of the healing process. 

Research has also examined the effectiveness of support for people bereaved by suicide. A 2019 systematic review published in BMC Psychiatry found some promising results for supportive, therapeutic and educational approaches, including interventions that involve other people in the bereaved person’s social network. However, the authors emphasized that the available studies were limited in number and quality, and that more rigorous research is needed. 

Supporting people after a suicide is an important part of suicide prevention, too. Those left behind deserve care, understanding and the reassurance that they do not have to navigate their grief alone. 

Talking about suicide can be part of prevention 

One of the things that can make suicide so difficult to talk about is the fear that asking about it might somehow make things worse. 

What if I put the idea in someone’s head? 

What if I make them uncomfortable? 

What if I don’t know what to say? 

These are understandable concerns. But the Government of Canada’s suicide prevention guidance tells us that asking someone if they are thinking about suicide does not increase their risk. Asking can instead lead to important conversations. 

The World Health Organization also identifies stigma and taboo around suicide as barriers that can prevent people from seeking help. Its suicide fact sheet explains why suicide prevention requires a coordinated and compassionate response. 

Sometimes the most important thing we can do is make it possible for someone to say the thing they are afraid to say. 

We don’t have to have the perfect words. We don’t have to solve someone’s problems. We don’t even have to completely understand what they are experiencing. 

We can listen, ask, stay connected and help someone find support. 

What I’ve learned in the therapy room 

One of the places I have seen the power of talking about suicide most clearly is in my work with clients. 

Suicidal thoughts are something I hear about very frequently in my work. When I am concerned about a client, or when something they have said suggests that they may be experiencing suicidal thoughts, I ask them directly. 

I don’t dance around the question or use euphemisms. I ask with care, compassion and without judgement. 

And so often, they tell me that they do think about suicide. 

Once they begin talking about how they have been feeling, they often describe what a relief it is to share these thoughts and feelings. They feel lighter simply by acknowledging what they have been carrying. They feel less alone, less frightened or grateful that someone was willing to ask. 

What I have learned from these conversations is that asking about suicide does not have to make the conversation more frightening. Sometimes, it can do the opposite. 

Giving someone permission to say what they have been carrying privately can bring those thoughts into the light, where they can be talked about, understood and supported. 

We don’t have to be afraid of the conversation. We do, however, need to approach it with care. 

If you’re worried about someone 

You don’t need to be a mental health professional to reach out to someone you are concerned about. 

You might simply say: 

“I’ve noticed you’ve been having a really difficult time lately. How are you doing?” 

Or, if you are concerned that someone may be thinking about suicide, you can ask directly: 

“Are you thinking about suicide?” 

Asking the question does not increase someone’s risk of suicide. It can instead open the door to an important conversation. 

If someone tells you they are experiencing suicidal thoughts, listen without judgement and take what they are saying seriously. Try not to rush into offering solutions or telling them why they should feel differently. Give them space to talk, and help them connect with a mental health professional, crisis service or another appropriate source of support. 

You don’t have to become someone’s therapist or carry the responsibility for keeping them safe by yourself. Reaching out for professional or crisis support is part of caring, too. 

If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts 

If you are having thoughts about suicide, I want you to know something important: you don’t have to carry those thoughts alone. 

You may feel overwhelmed, exhausted, hopeless or unsure of what to do next. You may even feel frightened or ashamed of having these thoughts. 

Please consider telling someone you trust what is happening. 

You can also reach out to a mental health professional, your doctor or a crisis service. You don’t have to wait until things feel unbearable before asking for help. 

Having suicidal thoughts is something to take seriously. It is also something you can talk about. 

You deserve to have someone listen. 

Where to find support in Canada and Ontario 

Canada — 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline 

Call or text 9-8-8, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The service is available to anyone in Canada who is thinking about suicide or is worried about someone else. 

Visit the Government of Canada’s suicide prevention resource page for information and support options. 

Immediate danger 

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department. 

Ontario — ConnexOntario 

ConnexOntario provides free and confidential information about mental health, addiction and gambling services in Ontario. You can call 1-866-531-2600 or text CONNEX to 247247. The service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

Kids Help Phone 

Young people in Canada can call 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868. Visit Kids Help Phone for more information about available support. 

Hope for Wellness Help Line 

First Nations, Inuit and Métis people can call 1-855-242-3310 for support. Visit Hope for Wellness for more information. 

Support after a suicide loss 

If someone you love has died by suicide, you may find that people around you don’t know what to say or how to help. You may feel pressure to be strong for others, or you may find yourself struggling with feelings that are difficult to explain. 

You deserve support, too. The following Canadian organizations and resources offer information or guidance for people affected by suicide loss. 

• Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) — Offers information for people whose lives have been affected by suicide, including guidance about grief, common emotional reactions and finding support. 

• Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention (CASP) — Provides suicide prevention information and resources, including guidance on finding support and learning about suicide prevention initiatives. 

• Centre for Suicide Prevention — A Canadian organization offering suicide prevention education and information, including resources about bereavement and support groups for people impacted by suicide loss. Its suicide bereavement support group resource is a useful starting point. 

You may also find it helpful to speak with a therapist who has experience supporting people through grief after suicide. Connecting with others who have experienced a similar loss can help reduce isolation, too. You do not have to be ready to talk about everything at once, and you can seek support whenever you feel you need it. 

You don’t have to wait until you’re in crisis to ask for help 

We sometimes think we need to reach a breaking point before we are “allowed” to ask for help. 

We don’t. 

Therapy can provide a safe and supportive place to talk about difficult thoughts and feelings, understand what may be contributing to your distress, and begin finding ways forward. It can also offer support as you navigate grief, including the complicated feelings that may follow the death of someone you love. 

If you or someone you care about is struggling, our therapists are here to help. 

And if you are experiencing an immediate crisis or are concerned that you may hurt yourself, please call or text 9-8-8 or call 911 rather than waiting for a therapy appointment. 

Asking for help is not a failure. 

Sometimes, it is the first step toward finding a way through.